I have a comment for "no name please". I totally feel where you are coming from. I am a Chrisitan woman who married a man who believes but does not whorship. When we got serious I stopped going to church, even on Sunday. (When we met I taught childrens chior.) We were together for over 8 years and married for over 5. Last year he asked for a divorce. I spent the last 3 years of our marriage dealing with the porn, other women and so forth that is so easy to obtain via the internet. I just kept telling myself it was because he works so far from hom and is only home 4 months a year. I prayed he would stop and be the man and husband I married. I guess he choice to be the man he wanted instead of the man God created him to be. It took some time, but with prayer and my church family I have been able to forgive him. I wish you all the best and will pray for you both. God bless

Joyce,
My heart and prayers go out to you, your husband and (any children?). I want to cry for you and the pain, the shame, the guilt that you bear. Your story hits me to my innermost being. There are differences to our stories, but the main issue of pornography is the same. The exploitation, the manipulation began changing my innermost being. Thank God that He delivered me from this destructive relationship. I was not living as God had intended me to live. I was not married to him, but we did have a child together. I wanted to make things work out for our child. As time went on I began losing my sense of self, self-worth. In my mind I had two choices: become the woman he wanted me to become-die emotionally, spiritually or commit suicide. This is when God intervened and delivered myself from him(cohersion) and me allowing myself to live in this type of sexual sin. My child was delivered from exposure too. I am wanting to please God now with my life, no one else. I am so sensitive to pornography and whatever else that goes along with it. I know that you're married, wiser(to not put up with his distorted view of sexuality). You are going to therapy-pastor and privately. It sounds as though you have a good support network. I will never allow myself to be so exploited again. Maybe you could separate, not divorce ,to let him understand your seriousness to your commitment to your marriage vows. He needs therapy and God to recover himself. He needs to do this to. I would tell him this is necessary to make your marriage work. If he doesn't choose this he is not ready to give up his pornography. I understand that you love your husband, please talk with your therapist. This is so destructive to him and you. Much prayers go out to you.

This is my first time on this blog. I have not yet seen the movie "the bucket". So I can't comment on this. But I do have a relationship problem.
I am joining the "one month to live program to grow spiritually." I believe this will help me with all the issues in my life. But especially in relation to my marriage.
My husband and I are both born again and spirit filled. We are in our 50's. When we got married he was on fire for God. God was number 1 in his life. But for about 5 years it seems like my husband has abandoned God and his faith. :-(
He is certainly under an attack from the enemy and has been for quite some time. This certainly hasn't helped our situation or marriage. We have been married for 6 years.We have been having marriage issues for quite some time. I believe a great deal of the issues are coming from the verbal and emotional abuse from my husband and his addiction to porno online. I know in a marriage nothing is ever one sided. But I truly believe my husbands behavior and the fact that he has abadoned his Christian walk is what is causing my inability to be the wife I want and need to be. My trust in him is gone. I feel no sense of security and I certainly don't feel loved.Of course, my husband thinks all the issues are coming from me. He seems to be clueless. He constantly complains that we have no intimacy. How can we in this situation? I know the Lord doesn't expect anyone to stay in an abusive marriage. But I believe in my marriage commitment and I am trying with all my heart to make this marriage work. I also believe the Lord can turn this marriage around with a miracle.We had been in marriage counseling and both going to individual counselors. I am still seeing my therapist. But my
husband is refusing to go to either now. I really believe that he just doesn't want anyone to tell him what he is doing is wrong. Although I know he knows it. Both in his heart and in his Spirit. He gets very upset whenever I turn Christian televison on. Could be because everyone has been teaching on marriage lately!!!
For several years now I have discovered every time he gets back into the porno online. He is always amazed that I "find" him out. But now the worst is about to happen. In the last two weeks I discovered my husband is "looking" online to have an affair. I found his "online ad" stating he is "looking" for a "discreet affair". He travels to another city with his job and that is where he plans on having the affair. The Lord led me to search for clues after my husband asked" what would you do if I had an affair?" When he made this comment I began praying to God for guidance. God led me to the "evidence" online. Fortunately for me, my husband has not learned how to cover his
"tracks"!! I don't believe he has had an affair yet. I believe I would know in my Spirit if he had already had an affair.
I have not approached him about any of this yet. I am seeing my pastor and therapist this week for advice on how to handle this situation with my husband. I want to approach the situation spirtiually and not carnally.
I need support and prayer and I know the Lord led me to the "one month to live" program for guidance and support.I would appreciate any advice and support. As one can imagine, I am drained emotionally. Truly the Lord is helping me get from one day to the next.
I have forgiven him each time I have found things out. But his behavior MUST stop if this marriage is going to survive!!
I would especially appreciate hearing from anyone that has gone through this experience and can give me advice as to how to approach this siuation with my husband.
GOD BLESS,
Joyce :-)

Hi! I want to get married to my boyfriend of five years, but I am just a little bit scared. I was married before and when he left me, he left me with nothing not even a home. My ex husband has a way of munipulating me.(his new wife too) For example his aunt was taking him and I to court, so he asked me if I could contribute to the lawyer, But she is not repersenting me just him. So I told him that I did not have any money. So he said "Well this is for our son too" So I gave him Five hundred dollars of my tax money. I hate the fact that I feel weak and I do not know how to say no. Cause i hate confrontations. And so I love my boyfriend and i have faith in God and I try to do right by God even get married, But I donot want to be hurt again , And if I did have one month to live I would get married. I just want to be able to stick up for myself. Is there any advice anyone could give me I would appreciate it.

Hi, everyone this is my first time on a blog but this is my story...

I have been married for the almost 12yrs with an unhealthy marriage, my spouse has had affair after affair and I have encountered abuse after abuse. I was living in a marriage of convienence so I did not have to put my daughters through anymore pain of a broken home. My spouse left me when my daughter was only 2yrs. old and we were apart for over a year. Our seperation lead to 2 children born outside of our marriage... I forgive and have put this whole situation behind me now and have been HAPPLY MARRIED for over a year now. I have been able to trust and forgive...

But, I have learned that you can not truely forgive someone till you live the life that Jesus has given us... This i have only come to realized in the last few week when I gave myself to Jesus and accepted this One Month To Live Challange. I have been able to truely forgive my spouse and let go, apolagize and forgive my sister-in-law for all the pain we caused each other. I know there is still more mendding I need to do.

Thank you Pastor Shook for this challange it has opened more doors in my happiness and has givin me the chance to really love my spouse and daughters with no regrets....

May God Bless All

My spouse and I did see the movie Bucket List. Both of us were deeply touched as I do have a life threatening medical condition that gives me no guarantee of another tomorrow. Without even being aware of it during the movie, I became aware that I do have my own Bucket List. But my list will remain only a list until my faith is unleashed and I begin to take risks like I never have before. I pray to God for courage to step off the edge and live the life He has given me to the fullest.
Paul

My sister and I always had completely different relationships with our mother. My sister was admittedly her favorite, as were my sister's children when we were grown. I grew up with a deep resentment toward my mother for many choices she made in her life that were sinful and wrong. My sister is deeply close to our mother and refused to see that her relationship with mom was different. I was supposed to just accept that's the way Mom was. I love my mother but was hurt so many times as was my sister, but she would always be able to forgive her and accept her back. Finally after two years of therapy I learned that for my personal peace I had to step back from the relationship with my sister and mother. For several years this caused a terrible strain between my sister and I as she was always calling me about what I needed to do to help mom. I would tell her Mom had never listened to my advice before and made her own decisions anyway so I was just staying out of it. It took time but my sister and I have worked out a close loving bond again where she accepts that my relationship with my mother and I accept hers and we keep that as a separate issue not pertaining on our relationship with each other. Now we can discuss Mom and her problems without fighting between ourselves over the situation. This has been wonderful as I have always been devoted to my little sister. A lot of prayer went into the resolution to all this and I give God all the glory.

An'drea, I too tried for years to mend a relationship with my sister only to be hurt again and again. This last time I made up my mind that I had no power over this. I let her know that I love her and will pray for her always, but the relationship was not healthy and it was best to let go and let God do the work in her life. You are on the right track. Just forgive and turn it over to God. Nothing is impossible for Him and you will find peace.

I STARTED A SHIFT CHANGE IN MY LIFE AS THIS IS MY ONLY LIFE A MONTH AGO MY WEIGHT WAS 240LBS NOW 200LBS BECAUSE I DID NOT WAS NOT MEET MY FAHTER IN SUCH AN UNHEALTH BODY. ''MY SON IS AN ACTIVE DRUG USER I ALLOWED TO LIVE IN THE HOME KNOWNING HE DID NOT HAVE ANY DESIRE TO LIVE FOR JESUS NOR TRY TO BE IN THE LIKENESS OF JESUS, SO IT WAS VERY HARD FOR ME TO LET GO SO I DECIDED TO GO ON A FAST AND GROW MORE SPIRITUAL, I DO NOT EVEN THINK LIKE I US TO THINK EACH DAY IS A NEW DAY NOT A PROMISE DAY SO I TRY TO WALK IN IT AS THE BIBLE INSTRUCT US TO DO SO, AS I FAST, GOD GAVE ME ENOUGH STRENGHT TO LET GO OF THE SON HE LOAN TO ME. AND I'M FEELING GOOD ABOUT WHOM I AM AND WHAT I'M DOING FOR GOD BECAUSE I DID CRACK COCAIN FOR FOR ABOUT 15 YEARS I SURRENDER TO CHRIST AND HE BROKE THAT BONDAGE 5 YEARS AGO I ONCE WAS HOMELESS NOW HOME OWNER, SOLD MY BODY, NOW A BUSINESS OWNER, AND AN OWNER OF A BRAND NEW 2007 THIS ALL COME FROM GOD SEE I ONCE WAS DEID AND ONCE WAS LOST BUT GOD GAVE ME A BRAND NEW LIFE I LIVE IT AS IT IS THE FULLNESS EVER DAY IS A GROWING DAY LIFE LESSION I MUST SAY. GOD BLESS YOU AND FAMILY. '' THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME SHARE!

I went to see the Bucket List yesterday with my momma in law. The movie made me think about life and what I have done with it. As Morgan Freemon said Do you have joy and have you brought joy to others. I want to make a difference and leave joy behind to others. It was a good movie, good plot.

I was sexually abuse for 13 years , I'm in this healing process it's so hard. I saw the video and made me thing many things such a forgiveness but it's so hard. Pastor Shook I just need prayer, I need to be free.

A word of encouragement for Shelly: You have made the choice to forgive - awesome - now let go and trust God to do the healing. Keep in mind that offering forgiveness does not mean you have to trust that person again - not immediately and perhaps not ever. Trust needs to be mended once it's been broken and that takes time and patience and the willingness to submit all things to God.

Shelly, I speak from experience after having several very hurtful encounters with my oldest sister. The forgiveness I offered her was sincere and complete because of what Jesus Christ had accomplished on the cross. Yet early on the Holy Spirt made it clear to me that our relationship was unhealthy. I made the choice to step back and love her from a distance and, even though it was difficult, God gave me total peace in the decision I'd made. During our time apart I prayed blessing over her regularly to prevent the enemy from planting a root of bitterness in my heart.
In time our relationship was restored. The time we spent apart gave each of us the opportunity to gain a different perspective and today, even though we are not close, we can speak to one another in a way that honors God.

The book of Ecclesiastes says that there is a time and place for everything and perhaps it is time to step back from your relationship with this person - even if just for a season. Perhaps God is trying to accomplish something within you that won't be possible with this person in your life? If you ask, God will give you the wisdom you need to make the right decision and the courage to follow through. Always remember: Christ was broken for broken relationships. And for this I truly rejoice. God bless in your journey, Shelly.

I haven't seen to movie but
it made me think about my brothers kids. He's been divorced for 30yrs, he has children & grandchildren that I haven't seen for yrs. They just live in the next city. I sure would like to see them even though I know there is alot of hurt against my brother for leaving them.

I start serving a one year sentence in jail on Wednesday and I just want everyone to know that I am truly sorry to have harmed anyone or spoken badly about anyone. My first criminal offense, a misdemeanor, has cost me one year of my life, ruined my credit, ruined my business, and removed me from the most important people in my life; my three boys. I would ask everyone to treat each other with true kindness, be faithful to your marriage, and do not ever speak a bad word to anyone.

Please follow Pastor Kerry's book and try to mend relationships with your loved ones and open your heart to the message. Remove the hate in your heart for the past wrongs of people in your life.

Good luck and God bless!

Lance

Saw the movie. It was great. Definately makes you think. I totally want to forgive someone right now. I think I have but I can't keep putting myself in harms way. I have forgiven this person many, many times before. When I am around this person we always seem to disagree and they wind up hurting me. Please pray that both of our hearts would be changed and show love and kindness toward eah other and love each other unconditionally.

What if you have a relationship that you need to mend and you are the one that has tried and tried to mend it but you keep getting pushed away...should I just forgive this person and pray that God will handle it?